Driving me potty!

This seems to be a very common sentence coming out of my mouth of late, from very inconsequential things to much bigger ‘issues’, this has been my reaction.

One of the smaller things happens to be little ole Fidget (who is not so little any more and is all better after his ordeal) who has recently taken up a new hobby, Bar Chewing. NO NO NO NO it drives me potty! The noise, the constant looking over at his cage because his fast movements catch my eye, and possible worst of all the thought of grinding teeth on metal! :s

A much bigger issue is my constant ‘loopy’ reactions to anything remotely emotional. I am 100% going loopy. It is getting in the way of my life, so much so that a huuge pile of work has accumulated and I really don’t have the time, or sanity to deal with it all! Now I have passed both of my QTS Literacy and Numeracy Skills Tests the pressure is on to Graduate, this pressure is un-fun and is driving me potty. So not only do I have 17000 words to write by May, I need to write them really well, really really well if I want a bursary next year.

I guess writing here isn’t actually getting any of those words written…so off I trot to do just that!

 

 

“It’s been a big day for him”

So. It has been a big day, for the hamster that is. Poor little Fidget had Wet Tail. 😦

He has been very quiet, only coming out of his bed for food, drink and a wee. So I decided I’d have a little check on him and try to get him used to being handled. Unfortunately in my attempts I stumbled upon a worrying sight; his bedding seemed to be saturated with diarrhoea and as he toddled off across his cage I noticed it all around his tail too.

Naturally I was worried, more unnaturally, I lost the plot a bit, got hysterical and was in no position to deal with the situation. I was hyperventilating, crying, frantically texting/calling Andrew asking him for help and to sort it out for me. Not a proud moment really…

My reason for such a reaction was the knowledge that Wet Tail can be fatal if not treated. Why I didn’t just ‘frame’ and sort out a vets appointment in the beginning I do not know, that would have been the logical thing to do. Recently though, logic seems to have escaped me!

In the end I managed to gain some composure and call the vets to get an appointment for the afternoon. Good, sorted.

Well you would think wouldn’t you… No this now threw a spanner in the works for my original plan for the day, to be there for moral support for my best friend through her numeracy skills test (to get onto a PGCE history teaching course). I felt awful letting her down but couldn’t not take Fidget to get sorted. Not only did this guilt have an affect, the anxiety I managed to build up about the trip out the vets did too. I was physically shaking when it came to thinking about the logistics of the trip, how the cage would go in the car, if I had an accident, where I would park, if it would overstress Fidget and other things which in retrospect are minor issues which need not be considered for too long.

In the end we did get to the vets, only 5 minutes late (traffic was awful) and by then I was only shaking slightly. Fidget got diagnosed, weighed, his anti-biotics dose prescribed, and administered. All ran very smoothly and once we got home I decided that the morning really need not have been so erratic and stressful. I have been assured he will be fine after the 7 day course of twice a day medication, and also I have found out that he is a sweetie to handle and all is well in the world of Fidget. (Or is on the way to being anyway)

So really, it has not only “…been a big day for him” it has been a big day for me, emotionally anyway.

Hopefully, tomorrow will run much smoother, I aren’t going to be in alone all day, I shall be getting stuck in at school so maybe having a busy mind will help to keep me…on track.

The best Fiance ever…

… and I’ll tell you why.

Well so this morning I was moping about, didn’t want to get up, but agreed to come and snuggle up on the sofa, then he popped across to get some veg, leaving me to doze and returned with…

This did a pretty good job of making me smile, and then he said, “come on lets get dressed and we can go find us a hamster!”

Even better.

I have been talking about getting a hamster since new year. See our last one, Scratch, he died a couple of weeks before Christmas and it has been strange not having a little face to chat to. When I’m on my own I wander around talking to the hamster, so when we don’t have one, its a teeny weeny bit crazy!

So anywhoo, went to shop, chose hamster, bought few little bits, set up cage and VOILA!!

He is our hamster and his name is Fidget, for now anyway. Andrew wants to call him David, really do not understand why but that was his choice, but as you can see, Fidget does not look like a David.

He has had a good explore of the bottom level of his new home and has tired himself out, bless.

 

 

 

 

A very teary afternoon

Well, yesterday was the day!

It was horrible, we spent the morning like nothing was happening and then it got to about half 11 and the tears began to flow. The poor dog must have been wondering what on earth was going on, poor thing.

We hugged and cried, and cried and snotted, and decided to say ‘see you soon’ in my kitchen, to keep the tears indoors, I couldn’t have waved them off, it would have been awful!! They went and I just completely broke down on Andrew, he was literally holding me up in the kitchen.

I had a good long cry and then was told to “tidy yourself up, I’m taking you out for a drive.” and we spent the afternoon in the car, at the seaside, round shops, just basically avoiding the subject and home. It was a lovely thoughtful thing for him to do for me and for that I really appreciate him, I had a lovely time in between the tears…

Its Valentines!!!

I completely forgot it is Valentines day!!

My fiance has booked tickets for Moulin Rouge at our local Cinema. 😀 I looove the film and he’s such a sweetie.

Just thought I’d gush a little while he’s getting ready!

Happy Valentines!!!

Impatient Creature!!

This is Tye, he couldn’t wait to unwrap his present before getting in!

You wouldn’t believe he will be 11 years old on the 1st of March.

Coffee, white, no sugar.

There you go, the first fact about me:

Coffee, white, no sugar. I’m sweet enough thanks.

I’m going to start each post with a small fact about myself.

And here is a list of the big changes happening in my life:

1. I got engaged in September 2012
2. I have a place on a PGCE course starting September 2013
3. My Mum and Dad are taking the dog (Tye) and moving to Germany, on the 16 Feb 2013

In the past I have let change in my life have an adverse effect, not this time. I am making the most of each and every ‘new opportunity’.

See back in 2009 when I first went to University I had a bit of a breakdown about a week before I moved into Halls, to specific, it started with making a salad and ended with me being dragged out of my barricaded bedroom the morning of the move, not good. Afterwards, once I’d realised how great living in halls, with my friends and my fiance to be, was I looked back on this and wondered why I had been so silly. Especially because I was only 20 minutes away from home… go ahead, have a giggle, I do now!!

It is this incident that really stands out to highlight how badly I deal with change, and then number 3 in my big changes list has the very great potential to start a very similar set of events into motion. I have known for about a year that they are going, and only recently has it really become a reality. This has meant I have not come to terms with the whole thing and that I am still upset at the thought of not being able to just pop round!

However…

I have a flight booked to go and visit in a months time, I have been out and bought them some gifts, I have set up a Skype account to keep in touch and I have my family and friends who are there for me. This will all serve to make it easier, along with having a place to talk about it, here.

So there, I have written it, the scariest thing in my life, is out in the open.